Designer: ek-love
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October 31, 2007, 1:18 PM Lol, so long never blog, really no mood sia.. anyway, later got training, so yea. my apologies to fiona, i haven't uploaded the pictures for your dinner yet. i'll try to do it soon_

DonuTs Chalet Matters:
all those whom i've sent the message about confirming the days you are staying, please reply ASAP.
apologies to muslims whom we have not invited as we are ordering non-halal food
packing list will be posted soon
thats all_

Personal Matters
Looking for a holiday part-time job for 2(fiona and me), if you hear of any jobs, please inform me via my email(strangers please don't come looking for me, i don't want a job from someone i don't know)
please vote chanel up at http://www.clearasilsuperstar.com. she really deserves to win. thanks!

more later, i've gotta get ready for training now..

October 22, 2007, 1:32 PM

October 19, 2007, 5:45 PM finally updated my profile and links. those who want me to link you, tag with your url. =D just updating on the swimming club announcements: If you have not recieved the consent form, please get it from firdaus Fill it in and return it to firdaus before 23 october, before school closes If you have indicated that you are coming for the canoeing course and not turn up on the day itself, you will have to pay $40 in cash actually, there are somemore, when i remember, i will update. apologies to swimming club members for my STM.

I was reading my old blog, http://www.believeme-pigscanfly.blogspot.com/ and in my june 2006 archive, i found this story that i cried over. i'm gonna publish it again. because it really touched my heart, i hope i can become that girl who related that story to her own problems again. i hope i can become that girl who wasn't so stressed before, wasn't so corrupted. here's the story. the english is really bad. i will edit the spelling and grammer, the story is the same.

Leaf, Tree and Wind.
“Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay~ ”
Tree:
The reason I'm called Tree is because I'm good at painting trees. Overtime I started to use a tree on the right hand corner as a trademark for all my watercolors paintings. I have dated 5 girls when I was in Pre- U. There was one girl who I loved a lot but never dared go after. She doesn't have a pretty face, doesn't have a good figure, doesn't have outstanding charm. She is just a very ordinary girl. I like her. I really like her. I like her innocence, her frankness. I like her cuteness, like her intelligence and her fragility. My reason for not going after her was because I felt somebody so ordinary like her is not a good match for me. I'm also afraid that after we are together all these good feelings will vanish. I'm also afraid other people's gossip will hurt her. I felt that if she's my girl, she will be mine ultimately and I don't have to give up everything just for her. The last reason, made her accompany me for 3 years. She has watched me chase after other girls, and I have make her heart cry for 3 years. She wants to be a good actress and I'm a very demanding director. When I kissed my 2nd girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smile & say "Go on!" before running off. The next day, her eyes was swollen like a walnut. I purposely didn't want to think about what caused her to cry but laughed at her the whole day. When everybody went back home, she was alone crying in the classroom. She didn't know that I had returned from soccer training to get something. I watched her cry for an hour or so.My 4th girlfriend didn't like her. There was once when both of them quarreled. I know that based on her character she's not the type that will start off the quarrel. But I still sided with my girlfriend. I shouted at her and her eyes was filled with shock. I didn't care about her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend. The next day, she still laughed & joked with me like nothing ever happened. I know that she was very hurt but she didn't know that my heartache is as bad as hers.When I broke up with my 5th girlfriend, I asked her out. After going out for a day, I told her that I have something to tell her. She told me that coincidentally, she has something to tell me too. I told her about my break up and she told me about her getting together with another guy. I knew who was the guy. He had been going after her for quite a while. A very cute guy full of energy, lively and interesting. His pursuit for her has been the talk of the school. I couldn't show her my heart ache but could only smile and congratulate her. When I reached home, the heartache became so strong that I couldn't stand it. It's was a heavy weighted stone on my chest. I couldn't breath. I wanted to shout but couldn't. Tears rolled down and I broke down and cried. How many times have I seen her cry for the man that doesn't acknowledge her presence too. During graduation, I read a sms in my phone. It was send 10 days ago when I broke down and cried. I haven't read it since then. It says "Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"
Leaf:
During Pre-U days, I liked to collect leaves. Why? Because I felt that for a leaf to leave the tree she has been relying on for so long it takes a lot of courage. During the 3 years of Pre-U I was on very close terms with a guy. Not BGR kind but as buddy kind. But when he had his 1st girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt - Jealousy. The sourness in the heart can't be describe by using a lemon. It's like 100 rotten sour lemons. Sourness to the extreme limit. They were only together for 2 mths. When they broke up, I hide my strong sense of happiness. But after a month, he got together with another girl. I like him & I know he like me. But why won't he pursue me? Since he love me why he doesn't want to make the first move? Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt. Time after time, my heart was hurt many times by him. I begin to suspect that this was a one sided love. If he don't like me, why does he treat me so well. It's beyond what you will normally do for a friend. Liking a person is very heart wrenching. I can know his likes, his habits. But his feelings towards me is what I can never figure out. You can't expect me, a girl, to ask him right? Despite that, I still want to be by his side. To care for him, to accompany him, to love him. Hoping that one fine day, he will come and return my love. It's like waiting for his phone call every night, wanting him to send me an sms. I know that no matter how busy he is, he will make time for me. Because of this, I waited for him. The 3 years were the hardest to go through and I really wanted to give up. Sometimes, I wondered, should I continue waiting. The pain and hurt, the dilemma accompanied me for 3 years. Till the end of my 3rd year, a 2nd year junior began to go after me. Everyday he pursuited me relentlessly. From outright rejection to a point in time when I felt that I'm willing to let him have a small footing in my heart. He was like a warm and gentle wind, trying to blow a leaf away from the tree. In the end, I realized that I didn't want to give this wind a small footing in my heart. I know this wind will bring this badly battered leaf far away and to a better land. Finally I left Tree, but the tree only smiled & didn't ask me to stay. Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay.
Wind:
I'm called Wind because I like a girl called Leaf. Because she's so dependent on tree so I have to be a gust of wind. A wind that will blow her away. When I first met her, it was 1 month after I transfered to the new school. I saw a petite girl watching my seniors and I playing soccer. During ECA time, she would always be sitting there. Be it alone or with her friends, looking at him. When he talks with girls, there would be jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her, there's a smile in her eyes. Looking at her became my habit. Just like she likes to look at him. One day, she didn't come to watch us play. I felt something amiss. I couldn't explain the feeling, except that it was a kind of uneasiness. The senior was not there as well. I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my senior scolding her. Tears were in her eyes while he left. The next day, I saw her at her usual place, looking at him. I walked over and smiled to her. Took out a note and gave it to her. She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled and accepted the note. The next day, she appeared, passed me a note and left. "Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow her away It's not that leaf heart is too heavy. It because leaf never want to leave tree." I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to talk to me and accept my presents and phone calls. I know that the person she loves is not me. But I have this perseverance that one day I will make her like me. Within 4 months, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times. Every time, she will divert away from the topic. But I've never given up. If I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win her over. I can't remember how many times I have declared my love to her. Although I know she will try to divert but I still bore a small ray of hope. Hoping that she will agree to be my girlfriend, I asked her again. I didn't hear any reply from her over the phone. Then I asked "what are you doing? How come you didn't reply?" She said, "I'm nodding my head". "Ah?" I couldn't believe my ears. "I'm nodding my head" She replied loudly. I hanged up the phone, quickly changed, took a taxi, rushed to her place and pressed her door bell. The moment when she opened the door, I hugged her tightly. Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay.
This story is really sad.. Fiona, after you read this, i think you will know how i feel...
I realised something after re-reading my old blog. I haven't changed from last year. If more than anything, I've gotten worse. i promised to choing this year, yet i ended up playing until the last minute. i vowed not to blog bad things, yet i just couldn't help it. yea, and i ruined most of my friendships. i'm crying now. lol.. can't believe it. Like joselin, i also have apologies to make.. but not now.. maybe later.. or tomorrow.. better stop crying first..

October 18, 2007, 10:44 PM

Isn't this nice? i like the colour. purple and black, two of my favourite colours. =)

My dedication to haku. lol

Haku is so cute! did you know that his full name is "Nigihayami Kohaku Nushi "? its such a long name! lol

His gaze is so mesmerizing! i used this picture during the IT course. =D

well, i'll just end like that. i need to shower!! i stink! jkjk. not really. good thing i DON'T have B.O. =D

October 16, 2007, 10:33 PM Lol.. today.. all sums up to one word. LOL, okay, maybe not really, but still? yea..
got back the E.O.Y marks. most of the marks were what i expected myself to get. but what disappointed me most(even though i expected it) was english paper 1, chinese and physics. i got freaking low for my english paper 1. there just wasn't enough time to sort out my many ideas. to write a really good essay, i need more than a few days to think over the title. so instead, i wrote argumentative for the second component. yea, and i know i got my points warped. like, the point - "single gender schools are better because they are usually top schools" is totally stupid. =.= anyway, chinese, i know that i could have done better in paper 2, quite happy with paper 1 though. =D higher than i expected. but paper 2? not good. okay, history, could have done better, but still an A. geography? ughh should have read the question properly during the exam. maths, so many stupid mistakes. 3 MORE MARKS TO A B3!! then science, bio, i'm happy with it. =) A1, yippee! chemistry, just pass(not happy!), physics, so so. quite a lot of people fail. and then, quoting fiona, "why is there chemistry components in the physics paper?!? its not fair!" well, lit, I'M NOT HAPPY!!! even though ms zee said that we did well, i'm still not happy. its not an A. Is her standard so low? since when did Bs become known as doing well? home econs, B, duh, its like, the questions are so out of the book! i don't remember ms maz going through some of them!! well, i guess thats that. average results. hope that i can get into a pure bio and chem class next year.
after school, when ms zee finally released us, i went to long johns with fiona, chery, june and qijun. then after that, fiona, chery and me went to yuting house after meeting jonathan(who tapao food for the other guys. they bully him!! jkjk) dave and jie ying were already there, they go there play com. -.-ll then we had sort of a movie marathon. okay, not really. just one and a half movie. LOL. the first movie we watched was Dodge Ball. its M18 for a good reason... hahahahahhahahah! its damn funny, aka super horny.. lol. not really. but seriously. the baddie(didn't catach his name, sound too soft) is damn retarded. lol. and the girl, i can't believe she is bisexual. sure doesn't look it. LoL. then we watched about the first half or Mr Bean's holiday. he is SO SO SO retarded(in a funny way of course). its like, he's an alien!! lol, then we went home during the middle as it was getting late and yuting needed to meet his mum.
at home. i wanted to bake chocolate chip cookies. then i realised. there's no butter. =.=lllll how could i be so blur? buy the mix without the butter. *knock* -.- yea, in the end, i showered, watched a bit of tv, my sassy neighbour is funny, a bit of david copperfield, i don't really like him, his powers are too unnatural and his acts, why must they involve sexy females all the time?! thats so sexist! its like, he gets this babe(not really), does some magic trick with her, dance dance in the air, show all thoses slick moves with the girl reacting to them, then act like he is going to kiss her, than some "wonderous" trick seperates them. i don't like the way that it shows females as the puppets, why can't it be males? sheesh.. sexist! i didn't want to watch the rest, so i busied myself with making flavoured ice cubes. yumyum. i followed a recipe from a cookbook with a few improvisations of my own. yum! i hope. haha. well, i will just end on this note. =)
ps: i'm not going to check my tagboard yet. i want to sleep! nights!

October 15, 2007, 2:08 PM Well, today's pretty boring, didn't update for two days. ok, here goes,
Saturday:
Family day, for my family. well, i thought it would be pretty boring, seeing that my mum and sis were like, "let's go shopping!" "I really need more clothes", and i was like, "urgh.. can i just stay at home? I don't want to go out.. I just want to sleep" then my mum goes "no no.. family day, everyone must go out!" so i drag myself to follow them. first stop, tampines mall, where my mum had her sim card changed, then we went to fish n co. yumyum! =) but, i found out that an ice latte really does not mix well with new york fish n chips, cuz, one is caffeine, the other is oil. and i also found out that coffee isn't my thing. > < after that, we went to east coast park to cycle. then we went to jurong point. actually,we intended to catch a movie, but my sister suddenly had a stomach ache, so we had to go home, but, we bought a few cds. okay, not really a few. haha, aeonflux was one of them, a really good show. when we reached home, we all showered up, and wanted to watch some of the movies, but, since catwoman was on, we watched it instead. its quite a good show! i like cats. haha. okay, after the show, i played flyff for a few hours before going to sleep.

Sunday:
In the morning, i woke up, showered, and played about half an hour of flyff before going for church, while we were at church, my father went to shop for a new dvd player. ours is really, really old. he managed to find one. =D then we went home. while my brother got ready for his swimming, i choinged flyff. xD no guitar lesson this round, thanks to hari raya. choinged 3 levels altogether, yippee! played flyff until evening, then we all watched aeonflux, then mr bean's holiday. aeonflux rocks. seriously. it does. i like aeon, she is so cool, her fighting rocks. and mr bean, truly hilarious. mr bean is damn suai. its like, what ever he does, he is sure to get into trouble. he does the most retarded and idiotic things. the part in the restaurent, LOL. anyway, after that, i choinged more flyff. xD, then after that, bedtime. seriously, lately, i just can't sleep at night. my mind is too awake. i just keep thinking of flyff! and my bed is too soft. i'm not a soft person. i prefer hard beds!

ok, then today, well, its mostly sleeeeeeeeeeeep! haha. i slept until 11.30. shoik! but until now, my sis is still sleeping. =.= i don't know how she does it. maybe its becuase she slept at 12 last night? i dunno. ok, for me, when i woke up, i brushed my teeth, then straight to the com. i'm now lvl 24 in flyff. i created a new character, you see. i started playing that character about a week ago. an assist. this time, i didn't mess up the stats. the good thing about flyff is that, when you get your job, your stats are resetted, so that means, vagrants(beginners) can add all their stats into str, and would be magicians would not lose out as they need not add all into int first. so, basically, flyff has quite a lot of freedom. =D thats why i love it. hahah. once i finish this post, i'm gonna play again. lol

Dealing with the spammers:
chun ping, who the heck are you? leave me alone. if you don't want to, at least let me know who you are, what school you are from, what class you are from, and why you have to keep pestering me. all this so that i can decide whether or not should i smash your face in, believe me, i'm capable of that, you have been annoying me waaaaay too much! i don't even know why the heck you dislike me so much! why? dave, i'm not going to block you, or report you, like what i've done with the others. why? because, i respect you too much. but then, i'm not sure if i should keep respecting you. why? because right now, you disappoint me. i'm no longer going to waste my sms on you. if you think i have changed, well, i think you have as well. i am so disappointed in the fact that you actually posted about me, and, chas, i am refering to you as well. why? because all of you should have know that i simply can't be bothered to check other people's blog and read what they have to say. i rather be playing flyff. be you people have forced me into doing this. why? why? why can't you confront me??? why? why cant you just talk to me during school hours and say what you have to say? why? why do you have to stoop to this level? why do you have to put all the blame on to me? whatdo you have against me? or are you just doing this because you are bitter over the fact that i do not want you to invite wenshan to the chalet? shouldn't you know very well that if she comes, she will feel left out? and why will she feel left out? thats because we will be making dirty jokes practically 80% of the time, and yu should know that she will be going, "ewww" and, she will only talk to you, and, we have so many code phrases and inside jokes that she will not understand! and about the group dating, thats not my idea. sheesh. who says i approve of it? i'm just going along with that person's idea! and, about you warning me not to hurt wenyi? i'm not the one doing the hurting. i do not know what she has said to you people, but i have a feeling that it is not what she said to me and the rest. if i have hurt her 10%, than the hurt that she has dealt me is equivilant to 1000%. and don't compare me with my sister, we are two different people. but enough. i will not say out the whole story. just letting you know that i want to confront all of you, wen yi included. tomorrow, tuesday, recess or after school. better not have other plans. and khai? what did i do to you, eh? sheeesh! all of you obviously have not heard my side of the story, steorotypos!
enough, i don't want to talk about this. anyway, on a more cheerful note, i bought cookie ingrediants. can't wait to make cookies! maybe tonight? or tomorrow night. hmmm....

October 12, 2007, 9:16 PM Alright. Enough is enough. Lets confront each other. Got any thing to say to me or about me, say it to me straight. I had enough. enough with all those idiotic spammers. from now on, whoever who tags at my blog with a retarded name or no name or a name i do not know, your tag will be deleted, your ip address banned and also reported. Why do you dickheads have to keep pestering me? i have better things to do than to keep up with the blog situation. Just cut it out. Its really ANNOYING. seriously, don't you people have better things to do? If you are bored, just go play games, or read books will you? get a life, man. sheesh. oh yea, i checked my cbox, apparently, alex is telling the truth, but, sanjivan, tokshirul, di hang, the fake alex and khai are the same person. such a coward. let me tell this to that person. STOP sowing discord. its freaking annoying, oh yea, if i'm God right(which is i so do not wanna be), i would be spending all my time punishing idiots/gits/goondos like you. so obviously, i do not want to be God, seeing that i DO not want to spend so much valuable time on you. ....

ok, updating on today, basically quite boring. first lesson was chinese. got back results. not good, not good. >.<>really like yuko. she's so fun to be with. also so cute. haha.. get this straight- i'm not falling for her. don't think dirty. haha. then free period(some teacher never come, darn), then bio. ooya! just A. 22.5/30. =D then was free period again. so suai. only get ack two results. >< then after that, i went home straight and choing flyff. =D choing 3 levels, and 1m. whoohoo!! so happy. tomorrow choing again. xD now i shall go to sleep! nights everyone!

October 11, 2007, 7:21 PM Its been donkey years since i last posted. Ok. Maybe not thaat long. Just about a month i guess. The reason is pretty obvious. Exams. Which, are thankfully over. Yea, after that about one month abstinence, i logged on the net, only 'cuz the FlyFF server was down, don't get me wrong, just to find? A bunch of spelling impaired fools spamming. So annoying. what did i do? i don't even know them, *rolls eyes* jack, jon and chas, i can understand, thanks for advice, i will try to follow it. yea, i spoke to benjamin like, a few weeks ago, and we totally cleared everything up. ok? i don't need to explain myself to the rest of you. its between us. alex, i don't think i am chio. and i don't act like a despo like you. you think i am disgusting? i think you disgust me more. you act like you have a girlfriend, more like that girl is despo? or are you faking? if there was a competition for the most "handsome" guy in the class, you would win hands down, no sweat. Yep, that includes yongjie, and yep, i think he is better that you. why? at least he is smarter than you, even if he has very little E.Q, his I.Q far surpasses yours. Khai, no, i don't think i am God. and no, i DON'T want to be God. why? because God is probably the most stressed person in the whole universe. he has to handle all the world problems, listen to prayers, punish all those evil people, and who knows what else, uh uh, no way i want to be God. if you don't like me to, as you so charismatically put it, "glare at you", then don't irritate me. or get under my skin. Di Hang. you are Di Hao's brother right? get lost, you are a sec 1, don't get involved further or face my wrath. Tokshirul, who are you? i have never heard of you. shoo. Sanjiven, i have only heard about you from the guys who make fun of you. why are you here? i don't want to end up critisizing you as well. to the idiot who used the name ' cuz he/she is too cowardy to write his/her name, omg, you disgust me the most. lets just look at your grammer and language first(my favourite part), not looking at the content of your rubbish words. First tag: "stopp kpkb-ing 0therr peep0 kayyes . euu are lykke siick adnn euu thiink euu are owaes riqqht . hav euu ever consiiderred 0ther peep0s feelinqqs ? n0 riqqhts ?" what the hell is kpkb? and what is peop0? and why must you write k as kayyes? i thought sms language was to shorten down smses, NOT DRAG IT FROM ONE LETTER TO SIX!!! yucks. is suppose "euu" is meant to be "you". the way you write it, sounds like "EWW" which i am feeling right now, and yes, i feel SICK. considered has one "i" not TWO!! and since when was the dictionary changed? i didn't know that "right" has been changed to "riqqht". cuz, then it would be pronounced as rick, which totally DOES NOT MAKE SENSE! ok, second post: "plwiish reflect 0n euurself fiirt bef0re c0mmentinqq abtt 0thers ." like what the FUCK is plwiish? if pronounced literally, sounds like, plish, wtf? seriously, thats gross. and "euurself"? have you even tried pronouncing it right out? yep, can tell that you obviously have not! why? cuz you are just so freaking act cute. but the thing is, when you try to pronounce it, it sounds like EW-UR-SELF!! *VOMIT*. and "fiirt"? sounds like like a muffled fart. yup. like, Phut! hahahahahaha and why the heck do you replace all the "g"s with "q"s? GET THIS STRAIGHT= G and Q is not the SAME!! at least you know how to spell "others", which astounds me, seeing how you have failed the tests so far. okay, third post: "****headd adnn fuccktartt . suckyayye biitch ;D" i obviously can't see whether you put **** or some vulgar language. what is "adnn"??? *rolls eyes again and again* whats a "fuccktartt"? a tart that can be fucked? is that what you are saying? or a fucking tart? or a tarty fuck? never heard of such stuff before. and "suckyayye"? are you trying to say "SUCK-YAY-YE"? do you know what that means? from my interpretion, looks like, suck(cock)-yay(what the hell? *think dirty)-Ye(means you in old english). combine all and you get, the person sucking(omghaha)then going "YAY!" than saying "you" in a totally ----- manner. LOL or can always take it as, "suck yay ye(yay ye being a person)", which is ALSO gross and dirty. ok, guess that is all. and a message to all. if you want to tag at my blog, you better do it in PROPER english, else, you know what happens... MWAHAHAHAHAHA

ok. enough space dedicated to spammers. actually, too much space dedicated to them, especially ' ! haha. i totally am in a good mood now, thanks to ' . seriously. even my TOES are wriggling in laughter. i totally love this kind of people. hahahahahahhaha lol. hmm.. blogged too much just now. FLYFF, HERE I COME!!! wait. is the server even up? hope so! xD